"Creighton defeats Indiana State 73-62."
"So one of the guys that coached that team, I've known him for a long time, and I said, 'Hey, when this kid gets up to bat, I want y'all to put one right in his ribs, and I ain't kidding."
"The worst economic turmoil since the Great Depression is not a natural phenomenon but a man-made disaster in which we all played a part. In the second part of a week-long series looking behind the slump, Guardian City editor Julia Finch picks out the individuals who have led us into the current crisis."
"Creighton found itself down by a dozen in a game that it wound up losing 74-62 to a Missouri Valley Conference team that had been struggling."
"WASHINGTON—A team of nine specially trained handlers have successfully lured outgoing vice president Dick Cheney into a reinforced steel traveling crate in order to transport him back to his permanent enclosure in Casper, WY, official sources reported Monday. "He's a smart one. Once he sees the crate, he gets pretty nippy, but we've learned a few tricks over the years," chief VP wrangler Ted Irving breathlessly said while applying pressure to a deep gash on his forearm. "If we break a rabbit's legs and throw it in there, he will eventually go in to finish it off. Doesn't work with dead rabbits, though. Cheney only eats what he kills."
"Men's Basketball: Jays get another road win"
"8:45- Joe Biden sworn in
8:46-8:55- The Bush/Biden Administration
8:55- Barack Obama sworn in.
8:55:01- The South falls into the ocean.
8:57- Obama's inaugural address.
9:30-President Bush and Dick Cheney depart by helicopter. As a Mariner fan we are definitely rooting for W. to buy the Rangers back.
10:05- Some fancy-pants lunch at the Capitol. If you haven’t been invited yet, you probably weren’t invited.
12:35- Presidential Procession and Parade.
"Casu marzu is an illegal Sardinian cheese that is served riddled with writhing maggots that try to jump into your eyeballs as you eat it."
"A Wichita State team that had been winless in Missouri Valley play embarrassed the Bluejays in dominating all phases in a 74-61 victory before a "blackout" crowd of 10,502."
Japanese Impersonators in Blackface perform “We are the World”!
"P'Allen Stinnet's scored 29 points and Josh Dotzler's steal with 51 seconds left in overtime sparked Creighton to a 73-72 come-from-behind victory over Southern Illinois on Wednesday."
"Creighton pulled its season back together Saturday night by banding together. Coming off two straight losses and playing without leading scorer Booker Woodfox, the Bluejays played one of their better games — as a team — in handing Bradley its first Missouri Valley Conference loss in a 73-64 decision before 10,767 at Carver Arena."
"Northern Iowa has washed away years of frustration in the span of seven days. The Panthers' 69-66 win over Creighton on Tuesday was their first in Omaha since 1996. The victory came seven days after Northern Iowa had posted its first win at Southern Illinois in 11 seasons.
"Creighton falls to Illinois State 86-64."
"Kudos today to Chicago's LeatherCreations, which bought this ad and placed it in the Chicago Tribune"
"Jays make it nine wins in a row"
"British inventor Josh Silver began working on eyeglasses that can be tuned by the wearer in 1985. His goal is to bring better vision to a billion people worldwide who cannot afford, or don’t have access to, an optometrist. Silver has devised a pair of glasses which rely on the principle that the fatter a lens the more powerful it becomes. Inside the device’s tough plastic lenses are two clear circular sacs filled with fluid, each of which is connected to a small syringe attached to either arm of the spectacles. The wearer adjusts a dial on the syringe to add or reduce amount of fluid in the membrane, thus changing the power of the lens. When the wearer is happy with the strength of each lens the membrane is sealed by twisting a small screw, and the syringes removed. The principle is so simple, the team has discovered, that with very little guidance people are perfectly capable of creating glasses to their own prescription."
"No more uncomfortable waistbands! When your waistband feels too snug, reach for the Waistband Stretcher. You don't have to get rid of your favorite jeans, skirts or slacks thanks to this simple waist-band stretching device that lets you add from 1-5 inches (depending on size of garment) to the waist of cotton pants, skirts, and shorts. Just moisten the garment's waistband, insert the waistband stretcher, extend the garment to the desired size and let dry - voila, a more comfortable fit!"