CAN RAZOR WIRE BE MADE BEAUTIFUL THROUGH DESIGN?
A company's giving it a shot.
Visit: http://www.sweetdreamssecurity.com
Here's how they propose making non-scalable fence railings more beautiful.
« March 2006 | Main | May 2006 »
April 27, 2006
THE LIONS HAVE ARRIVED AT THE SAN DIEGO ZOO.
And here's the ad.
THE FINE LINE BETWEEN BRILLIANCE AND RIDICULOUSNESS.
I can't decide. A combination sink/bathtup.
AND THIS MAN LEFT US TOO SOON.
I keep picturing myself in 2050 with my great grandchild, trying to come up with what I can tell her. I mean, how do you explain to someone that young that weed was ever illegal?
April 26, 2006
THIS MAN MUST GO.
Ok - those of you who know me, know that I'll support the Mariners every chance I get.
But, I've had enough. Their manager, Mike Hargrove, must go. I've had enough.
I'm tired of him trying to win in Safeco Field as if it's a field that it's easy to hit long balls out of. Lou had the right idea. Win with small ball. Hargrove's got speed on this team Lou never had. And he still tries to win every game with home runs, rather than stringing solid innings together. For the love of God, he's got TWO Japanese players starting on this team. Let's embrace that style.
I'm tired of him going out on the field and "casually talking" to the umpires. Dude, if you're jumping out of that dugout - you gotta be ready to let them have it, and be thrown out of the game. Lou had the right idea. Throw a base (or two.)
I'm tired of him at the post-loss press conferences talking about how "he's glad that game's over," or how "we didn't play very well tonight." Dude, Lou'd be BURNING THE CLUBHOUSE TO THE GROUND. I'm not sure Hargrove's even into it anymore.
By the way, any guesses on who I'd like to replace him?
SO, I SAW THE PROTOCOLS OF ZION LAST NIGHT....
Well, wait - not the ACTUAL protocols -- the film by the same name.
In case you're not familiar, the Protocols of the elders of Zion is a fictional, anti-Semitic document first published in Russia in 1903, supposedly documenting a plot by Jews for world domination.
This is the same tripe that people cite for the nonsense that "no Jews died on 9/11," that they were warned and didn't show up for work that day - it was all part of a nefarious Jewish plan.
The movie, which I'd been looking forward to for months, was a purported expose on the document and its believers.
It pains me to report that - this is potentially the WORST documentary I've ever seen.
Thin research. No substance. Just basically the producer (Mark Levin) shouting at the protocol believers on the streets of New York. This film was basically a bad blog (yes, I realize the irony) - not providing any useful information but just basically being the daily life of the filmmaker as he interacts with the believers. No new information. Very little new brought to the table at all.
This makes me sad. This historical document is an anti-semitic, hate-filled justification for so much evil in the world. A film could expose this, and provide real consequenses.
Maybe someday that film will get made.
CONFESSION.
Here are some shows I've never seen a complete episode of:
Friends.
Sopranos.
Will and Grace.
Oh, and here are some movies I've never seen in their entirety.
It's a Wonderful Life.
Casablanca.
Gone With The Wind.
Vertigo.
Whew, needed to get that out. I feel better now.
OOPS, SHE DID IT AGAIN.
Turns out that Britney Spears IS indeed, preggers again.
For those of you scoring at home, K-Fed has now helped create 4 children in 4 years.
My take? I'm convinced that it's all part of the master plan - Suri Cruise will rule with an iron hand, kept in power by a legion of Federline spawn. (With of course, Tom playing the role of Emperor Palpatine - pulling the strings from a remote location.)
YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE STUFF LIKE THIS UP.
The Birmingham Steeldogs, a team in the Arena Football League (who knew?) are having a game May 5 where they will suit up in what they call "biblically inspired" jerseys with "Samson" printed on the back.
Again, as always, prompting three questions...
1) WTF?
2) Samson?
3) The Arena Football League is still playing?
CHARLIE SHEEN IS MAKING CLOTHES FOR YOUNG GIRLS.
This makes sense. After all, he asked a few of Heidi Fleiss' "agents" to dress up that way anyway.
April 24, 2006
STOP IT RETURNS TO THE BOOKSTORE.
Cube Chic.
Stop it.
Just 'cause Judy from Accounts Payable likes her some Hula scene in her workplace does NOT mean the rest of us should be subject to a book legitimizing this kind of behavior.
ESPN MAY HAVE TOO MANY CHANNELS AGAIN.
This US Paintball championships were on this weekend.
Here are the current standings.
Now, I ask you - how can Joy and Evil be in the same league? I sat down to watch paintball, and suddenly it got all existential.
HAVEN'T BEEN BLOGGING MUCH THE LAST FEW DAYS.
Sorry all.
Been really busy, and a little too tired to blog.
Truth is, I felt a little like the image in this file.
April 23, 2006
IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS...
...you can send a silhouette of someones face, and they'll turn it into a nice art piece.
A friend of mine suggested we all do this with our faces, so that urns can be made with the same technique...you know, your ashes contained in something shaped like your face. Now that's being remembered for eternity, baby.
THIS MAN MAY BE POINTING UP TO THE HEAVENS, BUT THEY'RE NOT POINTING BACK.
As many of you know, I'm a big Seattle Mariners fan. I try to support them - no matter what. But this off-season, they signed Carl Everett. They're pushing it.
Why? Here are my complaints.
1) The man has denied that dinosaurs ever walked the earth. "God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and then made Adam and Eve. The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus rex."
By the way, my favorite part is the "someone actually saw Adam and Eve" part.
2) Tolerance. "Gays being gay is wrong. Two women can't produce a baby, two men can't produce a baby, so it's not how it's supposed to be. … I don't believe in gay marriages. I don't believe in being gay."
3) The man once flipped off our best pitcher, Jamie Moyer. In 2000. Now, how do you then put these two guys in the same dugout?
4) The man's a Designated Hitter, and he's hitting just over .200. That's it. That's the last straw. I want Carl Everett out of Seattle. A man can only put up with so much.
April 21, 2006
LOOK, ALL I'M SAYING...
is if these numbers are so low on a FOX NEWS!!!! poll...
how low are they in reality?
INDEED HE IS.
SOME DOGS DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT CHASING THE RABBIT.
A dog in Fort Worth got its head stuck in a pipe.
Details at: http://www.10news.com/news/8858797/detail.html
By the way, this dog is to advertising agencies as the rabbit is to dot com new business opportunities in the late '90s. Discuss.
YET ANOTHER REASON TO LOVE THE ONION.
I love when they show their "historic issues" - showing the best of Onions past. Here's one from '81 detailing the dominance of Texas Instruments in the computing industry, and the announcement of Jodie Foster's upcoming nuptials...
MAKE YOUR OWN SOUTH PARK CHARACTER.
This is a self-portrait.
Go here to make your own: http://images.southparkstudios.com/games/create/
April 18, 2006
HERE'S A HEARTWARMING STORY...
...about the love of a dog and its owner, where the dog apparently "sniffed" and detected a brain tumor. This is a good story, but my HMO won't allow this kind of "advanced" treatment.
They still charge me a co-pay on leeches.
THESE WOMEN WANT TO SHOW YOU THEIR PENSIONS.
Flight Attendants. Upset at airline labor policies. Making a calendar.
Full details at: http://www.stewsstripped.com
CANCEL THAT ELVIRA SHOW.
We have a winner.
THIS WOMAN IS GOING TO HAVE HER OWN REALITY SHOW.
Apparently, the "winner" will get to play the character for one year.
Now, I know we're all living in the age of celebrity where everyone wants to be famous - but, this doesn't feel right. I mean, being the Elvira character for a full year is a lot of hard work. I mean, do you have any idea how many van shows take place across this country in a full year?
LEAVE TOM CRUISE ALONE.
I'm tired of everyone picking on this guy. Have we forgotten the charm of Risky Business? The manliness of Top Gun? The wit of Cocktail?
I'm telling you - leave the man alone. He's done nothing wrong.
So he's a Scientologist. So he's a little forceful in his love of Katie. So he seems a little TOO excitable lately. It's not like the man's done anything truly weird. I mean, he's in LOVE, people!
This just in from GQ:
"I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there."
See? Leave the man alone! I mean, how many women - experiencing the joy and afterglow of childbirth, WOULDN'T like to see their man pull a fork and a knife out of a backpack brought into the birthing room, and use that moment for such a loving demonstration of his happiness?
I mean, c'mon people - Cocktail.
I LIKE TO THINK...
...if you make your living turning live animals (insects or not) into jewelry - then Satan is warming up your own personal section of hell.
See it at:
http://www.jaredgold.com
IF YOU'RE A TEACHER,
and you're going to have an affair with one of your students - don't put a photo like this on your MySpace profile. At that point, you're just asking for trouble.
WE BID SPEED ADIEU.
Then again, I thought we bid speed adieu back in the late 80s, but it's made quite a comeback.
April 17, 2006
HIS JOKES WERE LAME, BUT HE HAS A SURPRISINGLY STRONG HAMMERLOCK.
A charter school in Utah apparently had a scheduling snafu.
HOW DO YOU ADVERTISE AN INCREDIBLE HULK GAME FOR PS2?
Like this.
"THIS IS WHY WE HAVE EVERYBODY SIGN A WAVER."
I'd say there might be a PR job opening up - if anyone wants to move to Michigan.
From today's Seattle Post-Intelligencer:
2 kids hurt at Mich. minor league event
COMSTOCK PARK, Mich. -- Two children were injured in a scramble to grab cash being dropped from a helicopter as part of a promotion after a minor league baseball game.
About $1,000 in cash was dropped Saturday from the helicopter over Fifth Third Ballpark's outfield as children lined the outfield fence.
After the cash was dropped, the children scrambled. A 7-year-old boy was trampled and taken to a hospital, while a 7-year-old girl got a bloody lip after being pushed onto the ground.
The boy, Tino Rodriquez, of Grant, suffered bruises to his chest and back, said his grandmother, Rita Rodriquez.
The cash drop took place after the West Michigan Whitecaps' 3-0 win over the Southwest Michigan Devil Rays. It was the first time the Class A affiliate of the Detroit Tigers had conducted such a promotion.
"It's for fun and games," spokeswoman Katie Kroft said. "This is why we have everybody sign a waiver."
April 16, 2006
SO MUCH CHEESE - YOU COULD HIDE SOME EASTER EGGS IN THERE.
And, if you've been following the logic - he already did.
SPEED'S READY FOR EASTER MORNING...
He's going to pull it out now. Prepare to be dazzled.
Because nothing celebrates the resurrection like breakfast pizza.
EASTER'S HERE.
Everyone will be celebrating in their own way.
SPEED LIKES TO KEEP BOTH THE IOWA FLAG AND THE STARS AND STRIPES RIGHT THERE ON THE CROCKPOT.
April 13, 2006
TURNS OUT I'M NOT A HERETIC.
Take the quiz to find out which level of Dante's levels of hell you belong in. Clink the link at the bottom of this post.
For the record, I ended up in the second level.
Although I'm not really sure Dante had any formal position on "whether it's good to be a pimp."
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Moderate |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Moderate |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Very High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | High |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Moderate |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Moderate |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | High |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Moderate |
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
TODAY'S "THAT TAKES NADS" AWARD.
Goes to teenagers who create fake MySpace profiles for cops.
From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:
"A 16-year-old boy who could no longer hang out with his best friend because of a police investigation into a harassment complaint sought his revenge against a police officer through a popular social networking Web site, police say.
The teen is accused of posting the officer's picture with false and derogatory statements on Myspace.com. He was given a ticket last month alleging disorderly conduct and had to apologize to New Berlin Officer David Olson, according to the police report.
You know, instead of worrying about warning teenagers about the dangers of MySpace, maybe they should be warning us.
get the story at: http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=413620
SPEED'S READY TO ADD THE EGG.
If you're eating while reading this blog, you might want to finish that bite.
WITNESS.ORG - THE AMERICAN VERSION.
Hollabacknyc.com
A place where women who've been verbally harassed can tell their stories, and post their camera phone images.
SAW THIS AT TED THIS YEAR.
Peter Gabriel is involved in an organization called Witness.org, which encourages people in third world countries to document human rights abuses by recording them with camera phones or digital video. Then Witness.org gives them the server space to host the images, putting pressure on repressive regimes.
Pretty cool. Check it out.l
Witness.org.
HERE'S THE COUPLE ANSWERING TO THE PRESS.
Wow. Committing fraud takes its toll.
I'm not sure who the father is, but I think the mother is Arthur Dimmesdale. (Free prize to whoever gets the reference first.)
My thinking is that they should have at least dressed that big gulp cup up in some baby clothes.
And of course, gotten themselves a PUH-EAT-ZUH while they were inside the store.
SIX MINUS SIX IS ZERO.
A couple in Missouri fesses up to the fact that they didn't actually have sextuplets, as they claimed - and as numerous newpapers reported. Despite the fact that they never showed the reporters any babies, only baby clothing.
This couple is to the current administration as the newspapers are to the White House press core as sextuplets are to Weapons of Mass Destruction. Discuss.
Full story at http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/04/13/national/main1495349.shtml
IT'S GOOD TO KNOW...
that even one of the most well-managed brands in the world isn't immune to the "bad sales conference rah rah" treatment.
Go ahead. Click it. It'll be worth it.
JUST IN CASE YOU DOUBTED ME.
Or maybe you wanted to check out the website.
DURING PROGRAM BREAKS, THE CHEF SELLS GOLF CARTS.
I'm not kidding.
AND IPOD JUMPS CLEAN OVER THAT MAMMA JAMMA SHARK!
People.
PEOPLE.
It's consumer electronics.
QUARTERFRAUD WOULD BE A GREAT NAME FOR A BAND.
In case you haven't heard, Washington State had to shut down its Internet voting site for our state quarter. Something about "clickfraud."
In other news, Diebold promised the salmon they'd "deliver Washington State."
SPEED THINKS WE NEED MORE PARMESAN.
This is the only cooking show I've ever seen where the host takes ingredients out of a Ziploc.
THIS FIRST PITCH BROUGHT TO YOU BY HALLIBURTON.
One of the people in this photo was roundly booed while throwing out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals home opener yesterday.
Sure, they're awfully gutsy when he's not packing.
April 12, 2006
WHAT WAS IN THE EMERGENCY KIT.
Flashlight. Batteries. Whistle. Antiseptic Towlettes. Water. Mask. Bandaids. Survival Balnket. All wrapped up in a Interpublic Fanny Pack.
This prompts a few questions.
1) No toetag?
2) No Tamiflu?
3) Fanny pack?
By the way, judging from the contents, I do know one thing - plastic baggies will be no good as currency in the event of a major catastrophe.