SOMETIMES COMMENTARY ISN'T EVEN NECESSARY.
Yep. Real.
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March 31, 2006
March 30, 2006
WOW.
It's one thing to bilk a flooded city out of services that they need. Like free Wifi.
But then to basically take away a donation? Man, that takes 'nads.
HOOTERS AIR IS CEASING OPERATIONS.
I guess America just isn't ready for transportation served up with the same loving presentation as a sauce-slathered order of wings.
The country we'll live in someday will be ready for this cutting-edge concept. The citizens of that America will be enjoying their hovercrafts flying at warp speed, and their meals efficiently delivered by robots.
Pity really.
The terrorists have won.
AND, I WANT IT NOTED...
...that I didn't choose the easy joke below.
For the record, that would have been, "This fiery car crash sponsored by NASCAR meats - get 'em while they're hot!"
I'M WILLING TO BET THE SETUP FOR THE PRESENTATION WENT LIKE THIS.
"So, after a thorough demographic segmentation of our audience, no matter how we crosstabbed it - the answer kept coming back - "smoked meat."
By the way, for you Soylent fans out there - I'm required to add - "NASCAR meats are made of people!!! They're people!!!"
Former drivers and pit crew, I'd wager.
AND WHILE I'M ON THE SUBJECT OF MENTAL HEALTH...
Take a look at this passage from Kurt Vonnegut's short story, Harrison Bergeron, (full text if you're interested at http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/hb.html):
"It was tragic, all right, but George and Hazel couldn’t think about it very hard. Hazel had a perfectly average intelligence, which meant she couldn’t think about anything except in short bursts. And George, while his intelligence was way above normal, had a little mental handicap radio in his ear. He was required by law to wear it at all times. It was tuned to a government transmitter. Every twenty seconds or so, the transmitter would send out some sharp noise to keep people like George from taking unfair advantage of their brains."
The story involves a hellbound, future society that is so worried about anarchy that they handicap their citizens with devices that harm their ability to hold a coherent thought - they interrupt every conceivable...
(oh wait, my email just pinged me....)
Anyway, where was I? Oh, Harrison Bergeron. Right. The point is, what Vonnegut may have been predicting was...
(hold on, gotta take this cellphone call.)
Vonnegut...
(love that Internet radio...have I downloaded my podcasts today?)
Serve the state. Don't question. We don't believe in torture. We're fighting them over there so we don't need to fight them over here. Iran may have the bomb. Immigrants are overrunning our country.
A MOMENT OF SERIOUSNESS.
About a year ago, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea.
I had gained a lot of weight over the prior 5 years. I was tired all the time. I never had any energy. I was unhappy - a lot.
Finally, I got off my butt and went to a doctor - then to a sleep clinic. Thanks to their help - and to the machine that now helps me get more than 17 minutes of sleep at a time - I'm sleeping eight hours a night, I've lost 25 pounds, I always have energy, and I'm really, really happy.
I bring this up not to suggest that you might have apnea too. I bring it up because too often - we look for happiness by pushing ourselves even harder, - even when what your body and soul really need...is a bit of a break. Not just for health, but for happiness.
Give yourself a little extra sleep this week. See if you don't feel a little better.
Sometimes all of us could use a little more "shutdown" time.
(This message not endorsed by email, the cellphone industry, or the TV Bureau.)
AFTER.
BEFORE...
BASEBALL SEASON IS UPON US.
Be on alert.
THE DUDE'S ALMOST THERE.
From the BBC:
It began as an unheralded coast-to-coast walk designed to help morbidly obese Steve Vaught lose weight.
But some 2,300 miles (3,700km) into his journey, the former US marine now has a book deal and a 700,000-hits-a-month website, and has been interviewed by Oprah.
Steve's three miles-per-hour journey through the back roads of this vast and varied country began last April in southern California, when he weighed almost 30 stone (190kg).
He couldn't walk the length of a supermarket aisle without losing breath, and he realised he was on the way to an early death.
So the happily-married father-of-two took the decision to reinvent himself for the sake of his children, to literally walk off the weight by trekking America.
Today Steve has lost 114lbs (eight stone, 52kg) and has less than 600 miles - about six weeks - to reach his goal, Rockefeller Plaza in New York City.
March 29, 2006
OOPS. MY BAD.
Someone just alerted me to this.
Seems Da Vinci ISN'T the world's greatest historical dietician.
Who is? Yahweh, it turns out.
"YEAH, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING."
He was a great architect, musician, anatomist, inventor, engineer, sculptor, geometer, and painter.
Yeah, thanks Lenny - but we'd like you to help us take some pounds off, so -- is it ok if we now just call you a dietician?
"STOP IT" GOES TO THE MALL.
STOP IT.
HOW'D YOU DO IN YOUR OFFICE POOL?
Just in case you missed the final results of the consumerist's "Worst Company in America" March Madness.
Truth is, once Halliburton won in a first-round squeaker versus Monsanto, it was smooth sailin'.
Though WalMart did give 'em a good run there.
I CAN'T DECIDE WHAT'S MORE DISTURBING.
The fact that someone commissioned a statue of Britney Spears giving birth?
That they did so as a pro-life statement?
Or that I may finally be in favor of censoring something?
Ick. I never thought I'd use the expression "the bear head is the only thing not making me a little queesy in this piece of art."
Get the full details at:
http://www.caplakesting.com/2006_catalog/de/index.htm
March 28, 2006
PEOPLE...GET OUT THERE.
These "food" items aren't available all year long, you know.
THE VIEW FROM IRAQ.
PHOTO FROM ANOTHER TIME.
You can keep your WWF. Or WWE. Or whatever it's called.
I miss a simpler time.
FORGOT TO UPLOAD...
this photo - it's my favorite from the NCAA Tournament.
ZACHARIAS MOUSSAOUI TESTIFIES...
Ok, I know I'm a big "conspiracy guy," -- but just ask yourself...
What are some possible "takeaways" from his bombshell testimony yesterday?
Here are two:
"Wow, the White House was targetted. They were after Bush."
and
"Thank god we have those tough immigration laws. That's how we caught him."
I ask you, who would benefit from such takeaways?
Hey, I'm just asking...
March 27, 2006
A TEAM CREIGHTON BEAT BY 20 POINTS THIS YEAR...
just made their way into the final four.
Congrats George Mason.
March 26, 2006
HAD A GREAT THAI MEAL TONIGHT...
...by taking some advice I got from this year's TED conference - just put yourself in the chef's hands, let him make what he thinks is the best thing on the menu.
I had a great red curry with chicken I wouldn't have otherwise ordered.
And made a new friend in the process.
THE PALM SPRINGS DMV...
needs to make sure they're administering the tests properly. I've never seen driving like this.
NOW, I KNOW...
...someone's going to react to this post by calling me too-"preachy," -- but sometimes, I gotta say what's on my mind. So, forgive me, but I saw a couple of things today that made me feel I just had to post something.
There are people...PEOPLE...who keep the world up and running.
Some of them you don't see - think: the hotel maid, the dishwasher in the five-star restaurant, the guy who paves the road at 2 in the morning.
There are others you do see - maybe the airline flight attendent, the retail salesclerk, your usual barista. People who might be the face of the corporation - answering your questions about their policies -- but never settting them. The people who take the brunt of the punishment when something goes wrong.
What I'd like to say is - they're people. People like all of us. Maybe they're putting themselves through college. Maybe their parents had to sneak past border guards to get here. Maybe they just didn't get the same breaks we all did.
Anyway, they're PEOPLE-with feelings, families, and worries - like the rest of us. And personally, I think it'd be nice if all of us remembered that.
Whether we're tipping them, or just interacting in some way with them.
So, as Forest Gump would say, "that's all I have to say about that."
This post is dedicated to my new friend, Mr. Slawson, who recommended the book "Us and Them" to me. Facinating read. Glad someone took the time to read it, to think about it, and to recommend.
And now back to more snarky bloggy matters.
March 25, 2006
NO MO.
Missouri Valley Conference, that is.
With the shocking loss for the Shockers last night, another MVC Conference Season ends. The best ever.
Now, it's officially baseball season. Go Mariners.
A LETTER TO THE PASSENGERS OF FLIGHT 528.
Well folks - I'm in Palm Springs for the weekend - so the blog posts won't be as frequent 'til next week.
But in the meantime - please forgive me as I share some notes that I took on the flight down.
7D - Please stop picking your nose. It's been over an hour now.
21F - Assume you've had a bad morning - but it's not the flight attendant's fault.
14D and 14E - Maybe some relationship counseling is in order. Pronto.
12D - Wow, assume no full-length mirrors in your house?
Finally, to the woman sitting next to me, and across the aisle from her husband - Maybe a good idea would be, if he needs to hear about everything in the newspaper - you could just HAND it to him when you're done - RATHER THAN SUMMARIZING EVERY STORY AFTER YOU FINISH IT? Good God, I'm trying to read over here.
That's all. Thanks for listening.
March 24, 2006
MEMPHIS WINS BY 16.
And, the team/college named after the woman below, exits the tourney.
Nice run, Bradley Braves.
YOUR SCOREBOARD UPDATE.
Haliburton is beating the bejeezus out of ChoicePoint in the Worst Company in America contest over at consumerist.com.
TOO MUCH ANIMATED PARIS HILTON...
...could lead to this.
And no, I'm not blaming her, but her parents.
In case you haven't ever seen the sad story of Swan Brooner in the documentary "Living Dolls" - I HIGHLY suggest renting it.
In the meantime, check out more photos at: http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2006/03/give_it_up_for_.html
Circuses are still torturing elephants in the name of entertainment, and parents are still subjecting their kids to pageants.
People...
AGAIN-AMERICA,THIS IS WHY THEY HATE US.
Yeah, an animated series - that's exactly what we needed.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present the fifth sign of the Apocalypse.
March 23, 2006
"BROWNIE, YOU'RE DOING A HECKUVVA JOB."
This just in, courtesty of the Seattle Times.
GOODBYE (SNIFF) CHEF -- WE'LL (SNIFF) MISS YOU.
In last night's South Park season premier - the character Chef was brought back from a sabatical, only to be impaled, and fed upon by a mountain lion and a bear.
The show was put together quickly as Matt Stone and Trey Parker reacted to this week's news that Issac Hayes (voiceover talent for the Chef character) quit the show because of the show's "disrespect" of his religion, Scientology.
(I wonder if the word "religion" should be in quotes in the previous paragraph?)
Anyway, it ended with what was actually kind of a heartfelt thanks to Chef's contributions to the show.
Reacting to Chef's death that was due in part to a bad group he'd become associatd with - the character Kyle proclaimed, " We shouldn't be mad at Chef - we should be mad at the fruity little club for scrambling his brain."
Well done, boys.
MUSLIM JEANS.
I know you're going to think I'm kidding - but I'm not. (After all, I'm already pushing it with the name, Heresy -- you really think I'd run the risk of insulting the nation of Islam?) What am I, Danish?
From the website:
"The precious stimuli and suggestions that come from the sacred Arab World and from ordinary, every day life are captured and brought to fruition in AL QUDS jeans satisfying the needs of a couture fashion line which arises from the most "cultural" gesture of the street: jeans made to pray in, jeans for those who choose a different path. It is a wider concept because it is a step made for the World, seductive original and distinguished.
This line is therefore serious, looked for with discretion, natural elegant and not ostentatious. This is reflected in the care and attention to detail, from the denim material to the design which offers the comfort necessary for everyday wear.
A new expression for an old tradition; a way to express your origins and show them."
Find it at: www.alqudsjeans.com
CHOOSE YOUR OWN HEADLINE.
Ok, folks, I've got two for this image:
Choose one:
a) AND SPEAKING OF EIGHT FOOT COLONS,
or
b) APPARENTLY WE'VE GOT A FEW MORE YEARS OF BEING GREETED AS LIBERATORS.
I'm curious which one you like better.
And, of course, feel free to submit your own.
BRILLIANT TEACHING TOOL OR PUBLIC PARK ATROCITY?
Before any of you question it, the truth is - I'm not clever enough to make this up.
Every year, the the Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation tours an eight-foot tall, walk-through colon around the country as a way to promote colon health.
And yes, "Eight Foot Colon" was the name of a band I briefly played accordian in.
MY WIFE HAS A GOOD HEART.
She belongs to the Junior League in Seattle. Its stated mission: "The Junior League of Seattle is an organization of women committed to promoting voluntarism, developing the potential of women and improving the community through the effective action and leadership of trained volunteers. Its purpose is exclusively educational and charitable."
However, I like calling it the "Justice League,"- and in my minds eye, the meetings look like the picture below.
THE FIRST (AND PROBABLY ONLY) AMERICAN IDOL REFERENCE ON THIS BLOG.
Barry was on American Idol this week.
I've heard it said that, in the past, Barry's response to reporters who asked "why don't you have any children?" was to say "my SONGS are my children."
Man, the mid-70s were a long time ago, naivete-wise.
IF YOU LIVE IN SEATTLE, THIS IS WHERE YOU SHOULD BE 6PM-10PM THURSDAY NIGHT.
Benefit for Stan Raymond, all-around good guy.
Stan was diagnosed with cancer (he calls it "stan-cer," which tells you all you need to know about this guy's sense of humor) - and the benefits from this night will go towards his family's living and medical expenses.
Key details: STAN FEST at The Premier, 1700 1st Ave. South, 6-10pm.
Local bands, cheap grup, and a good cause.
Bands: dH, Moongun, The Ultimate Rock Trio and The Plaintiffs.
Items up for auction:
Autographed Mariners Baseball, Mariners Tickets, Sonics Tickets, “Desperate Housewives” Autographed Pilot Script and Poster, Spirit of Washington Dinner Train Tour,
Cocktail Cruise on Lake Union/Lake Washington
And for the ad crowd:
Focus Group Moderation, Video Editing for a Day, Copywriter for a Day
There will also be other cool swag for the auction and raffle, as well as gift certificates to restaurants and spas.
There are few causes better than this.
March 22, 2006
WHEN THE WINDS OF YOUR OWN MORTALITY START BLOWING...
...you'll want to make sure you've got something holding the door open.
Yep, it's a doorstop.
MEDIA COMMENTARY AS FASHION.
So...you know how, on reality shows, they pixelate any logos on the participants, etc. so that they don't broadcast the logos?
This guy is selling shirts that help you avoid the middleman - by just wearing the pixelations in everyday life.
Meta-irony.
IF THEY HAD EVER INTERVIEWED ANY OF MY OLD ROOMMATES,
they would've found out that the only jihad I was calling for was for more breakfast cereal options at the university cafeteria.
By the way, is it just me - or is there something just inherently funny about this jury picture?
I mean - if you really want to keep something secret, wouldn't it be a bad idea to emblazon "SECRET" in big letters across the front of it?
I mean, I'm just asking.
EVER WONDER...
...what two of our country's most high-powered ad agency creative directors think of "business casual?"
No, neither did I.
And, aren't you glad you now know?
No, neither am I.
March 21, 2006
CREIGHTON BECOMES A REAL BIGTIME BASKETBALL PROGRAM.
As they graduate to the "fan violence" level.
Apparently, the end of the game last night was in some dispute.
From USA Today:
THE LOVE/HATE THAT IS TRADER JOE'S
Slate.com did an excellent piece about Trader Joe's, who is finally opening in NYC. They put a list of suggestions together about how to "correctly" shop there. My favorite:
"Adopt a Soviet Mentality. This is the first thing nearly every regular TJ's shopper mentions: Products appear suddenly, work their way into your daily routine, and then disappear with no warning. Example: no-boil lasagna noodles. Here one day, gone for months. If you really like something, hoard it. You never know when it will vanish."
Too true.
WHAT REALLY OFFENDS ME...
about this article I found online this morning is that everytime I think about the phrase "breadstick sauce," I throw up a little in my mouth.
SEE THIS MOVIE.
That is all.
THE DREAM. SHE IS OVER.
My beloved Creighton Bluejays lost their game to the University of Miami tonight by one measly point, 53-52. It's been a rough year, we lost our best player 5 games into the season (out for the year), and our second best got injured and couldn't play the last 5 games.
Guess I should be happy they made the post season at all.
Mariner baseball officially begins. Now.
HOW DO YOU SHOW TWO SIDES OF AN ISSUE?
Here's one way - give migrant workers and "border minutemen" disposable cameras to document their view of the world.
See it at: http://www.borderfilmproject.com
March 20, 2006
YEP, IT'S REAL.
Saw this at TED this year...blew my mind.
From the creator, “In exploring the shared language and poetic sensibilities of all animals, I am working towards rediscovering the common ground that once existed when people lived in harmony with animals. The images depict a world that is without beginning or end, here or there, past or present.”
—Gregory Colbert, Creator of Ashes and Snow
check it out at ashesandsnow.com
TODAY'S "STOP IT."
I was going to write something up on this - then I found this this morning on deadspin.com.
Nice job, deadspin.
BASEBALL SEASON IS ALMOST HERE.
And, like all good Mariners fans...
I miss you Lou.
I DON'T WANNA SAY THINGS ARE GETTING TOUGH IN L.A.
But let's just say a business specializing in 20-minute "power naps" is now open in Glendale.
THE ONION REPORTS ON THE NCAA TOURNEY.
They're so wrong. But oh - so right.
March 19, 2006
TODAY'S EDITION OF "YOUR BRAND DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU ANYMORE."
...courtesy of some people who don't like Clear Channel, and decided to express themselves by tagging a billboard.
JUST IN CASE...
...you're like me, and you occasionally wonder, "I wonder whatever happened to those kids in the original Willy Wonka movie, and what they look like now?"...
Well, time to stop wondering.
MISSOURI. VALLEY. CONFERENCE.
The MVC (home of the Creighton Bluejays) - just put two teams in the "Sweet 16" of the NCAA Tournament.
Congrats - Bradley Braves and Wichita State Shockers.
Shocking indeed.
March 18, 2006
I'LL HAVE A LARGE PEPPERONI - HOLD THE PORNOGRAPHY.
Not quite sure how I missed this, but apparently the founder of Domino's pizza is building a "Catholic utopia."
Article from Slate magazine:
http://www.slate.com/id/2138085
Make sure to click the link to the real estate site.
FADED YELLOW RIBBONS.
This guy is posting shots of people's yellow ribbons to his blog.
His point? The fading you see puts a finer point on how long this has been going on.
Interesting use of a blog, a mobile phone camera, and a provocative thought.
http://www.brainshrub.com/
THE TEAM...
...that knocked my beloved Creighton Bluejays just knocked Kansas out of the NCAA Tournament.
Congratulations Bradley Braves.
March 17, 2006
MID-MAJORS, MY ASS.
Bucknell just won their first round game.
And oh, by the way, Northwestern State ("Northwestern" in Louisiana, you figure it out) beat Iowa.
UPDATE ON THE "PAY EXTRA FOR AN AISLE SEAT" STORY.
Apparently, the man below paid for it yesterday.
YET ANOTHER REASON TO HATE THE YANKEES.
...as if we need another.
Look, I'm just asking...
Is it POSSIBLE that the early exit of the USA in the World Baseball Classic allows the Yankees to get Jeter and Pay-Rod back to Spring Training early, while the teams from Mexico, Japan, etc. (who don't have any Yankee players) keep toiling away and risking injury by playing more games?
And is it POSSIBLE that this was a well-orchestrated ploy by Steinbrenner to increase their odds in a year when their pitching is at best questionable?
Hey...I'm just asking.
QUITE POSSIBLY...
...the best website ever.
Photo after photo of scared children on the laps of Santa.
God, I love the web.
http://www.southflorida.com/events/sfl-scaredsanta,0,2245506.photogallery?coll=sfe-events-headlines&index=7
TONIGHT'S MARCH MADNESS RESULTS.
Gonzaga, the number 5 team in the country, beat Xavier by 4 points. Creighton beat Xavier by 2 points earlier in the year.
In tonight's premier NIT game, the Creighton Bluejays won by 11 points.
Yes, I'm bitter. Leave me alone.
March 16, 2006
YOUR FIRST MARCH MADNESS UPDATE.
Halliburon leads Walmart by 3 percentage points for worst company in America over at consumerist.com.
In the NCAA tournament, Wichita State (a team Creighton beat) won their first round game.
So did Wisconsin-Milwaukee (a team that got beat by a team Creighton beat.)
And there was a bomb scare in San Diego.
The Big Game tomorrow? Georgetown plays Northern Iowa (a team Creighton beat - TWICE.)
SOMETHING OCCURED TO ME TODAY...
Remember how Howie Mandel used to do that thing with the plastic glove over his head?
Now, he has obsessive compulsive disorder and won't shake hands with people.
You know, sometimes the irony writes itself.
ANOTHER NEW COLUMN...
With this entry, I start what I suspect will be another recurring column.
It's called simply "STOP IT."
It's dedicated to my friends Don McKinney and Britt Peterson, who started what I'm now going to start calling the "STOP IT phenomenon."
Basically, STOP IT will feature a simple image, with little to no commentary.
It will act as a call for marketers, conservative Christians, and bascially just uncalled-for American behavior to just friggin' STOP IT.
Today's entry:
http://heavenlyjerseys.com
FUNNIEST IMAGE I'VE SEEN TODAY.
Don't act like you've never felt like this.
The image is from the "creating passionate users" blog. - http://headrush.typepad.com, from a great article about getting your user interface out of the way of your user.
MICROSOFT IS OUTED...
Have you seen the "if Microsoft designed the ipod package" video?
If not...see it here.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=36099539665548298&q=microsoft+ipod
So the epilogue is, this was created..
(wait for it)
...at Microsoft. Some internal video got loose on the web.
Stand up and take notice, marketers - information wants to be free.
PAY-ROD STRIKES OUT.
I haven't had so much fun rooting against Americans since the Winter Olympics.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, THE JAPANESE...
...have invented a smart toilet that can monitor waste products to gauge a person's health.
Just so you know.
THERE'S A RESTAURANT IN PENNSYLVANIA THAT HAS...
...a six pound hamburger that you get for free if you finish it.
I want you to remember this image.
Because Americans, you see, when you are asking yourselves "why do they hate us?"
This, friends, is why they hate us.
AND SPEAKING OF MASHUPS...
Heard Matisyahu yet?
Hasidic raggae.
I'm hooked.
OLD BEHAVIOR MEETS NEW TECHNOLOGY.
I'm always intrigued by how technology changes the way we've always done things.
Here's what happens when you mash up technology and PAC-10 basketball fans razzing their opponents.
The following is lifted directly from deadspin.com. Click on it for the full text.
Genius.
SO, I'M WATCHING THE NEWS LAST NIGHT...
...and they show me this.
Now, I'm not sure what offends me more - the "reporting" of the top stories on their website - as if that's REAL NEWS - or the fact that "flesh eating bacteria" is on the list.
Let's see - it used to be, "If it bleeds, it leads."
I guess the new rule is "if it oozes, they choose-s?"
By the way, DISEASE, CRASH, FIRE -- sounds like a band I used to play rhythm guitar in.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT,
You can now get a "GoogleMars" map - can't wait to see the shortest driving route there from my house.
March 14, 2006
NO, I'M NOT KIDDING.
Krispy Kreme donut. Sliced in half. Served with a burger loaded up with two slices of bacon and cheese. 1,000 calories.
Served at minor league baseball games.
And people thought my Oreo Corned Beef Slider (tm) was a non-starter.
OH MY GOD.
Yep, it's a Roomba cockfight.
I'd make a joke - but it'd be redundant.
SETH GODIN HAS AN INTERESTING TAKE ON SEGMENTATION.
Yes, it's simplistic -- but it actually isn't a bad start.
I love the phrase "factory fringe." It's a great phrase to sum up those brands that treat their customers in a manner that says, "Hell, they don't live on the coasts. They don't know any better. This will be good enough for them."
Like JC Penney, Southwest Airlines, Walmart,...
PETE HAS BEEN GIVING HIS OPINION ON THE BARRY BONDS FIASCO...
Hey Pete - guess what? YOU GAMBLED ON BASEBALL.
No matter how much you'd like us to forget.
Now go sign another 100 balls for old ladies in Vegas.
NW AIRLINES IS NOW CHARGING $15 EXTRA FOR AISLE SEATS.
What's next? "Oh, you want a flight on our non-crashing planes? That'll be $30 more."
From the brilliant minds who brought you "layover at the Mall of America."
AN HOMAGE TO ARTFUL PROTEST.
Have you heard of the flying spaghetti monster?
From Wikipedia:
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a fictional deity in a satirical religion created by Bobby Henderson in 2005 to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution. On the site, Henderson professes belief in a supernatural Creator entity that resembles spaghetti and meatballs and suggests that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism should be taught in science classrooms.
This is just genious. In the era of dogma masquerading as "debate," this guy has figured out an artful way to get a point across.
How successful is he being? Just do a search for FSM products, and see how many hits Google gives you.
Check out the website...
http://www.venganza.org/index.htm
March 13, 2006
HERE'S THE REAL MARCH MADNESS TOURNAMENT.
Another blatent plug for the Consumerist.
Their "Worst Company in America" contest is down to the Final Four.
Today's match is the one we've all been waiting for: Walmart vs. Halliburton.
The winner will meet the U.S. government in the championship.
Check it out:
http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/worst-company-in-america/worst-company-in-america-tier-2-results-159573.php
FORGET THE DEMOCRATS, LET'S NOMINATE THE TARGET CORPORATION.
Apparently, they're the only ones willing to arrest and prosecute this administration.
Read it here:
http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/shopping/former-bush-advisor-arrested-for-target-refund-fraud-160033.php
THE ULTIMATE PROPAGANDA FILM.
So I decided (finally) to get around to watching Triumph of the Will, the Nazi propaganda film. Suffice it to say I found the film both intriguing AND sickening.
Two notes:
First, I don't know that I'd recommend watching it right now. All Hitler needed was a "Mission Accomplished" banner unfurled behind him. A few too many obvious parallels.
And, if you're going to watch it - I'd recommend against doing what I did (watching it on a flight to/from Sacramento) - I think the flight attendents added me to some sort of list.
OBI-WAN, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE.
Would any of the copywriters who regularly read this blog please submit a new slogan to the Democratic Party?
In case you haven't heard, they're getting behind "Together, we can do better."
Inspires a shite-load of confidence doesn't it?
What's that noise you ask? Oh that's just FDR rolling around in his musty coffin.
WHY IS THIS BLUEJAY FROWNING?
Well, as you've no doubt heard by now, my beloved Creighton Bluejays did not make the field of 64 this year for the NCAA tournament.
They'll be toiling away at the NIT. First game, Friday night against the Akron/Temple winner.
Alas.
March 10, 2006
ANOTHER “ALMOST READ” BOOK.
Well, here comes another “I’m halfway finished, but I’m ready to recommend” book club offering.
"Phaic Tan: Sunstroke on a Shoestring" is a travel guide to a fictional country that is a brilliant comedic take on the standard travel guide writing style. It’s from the creators of Molvania, which some of you may have already read.
The country of Phaic Tan is presented as a ridiculously hot, humid, depressing place that its own residents are desperately trying to escape from.
A representative passage: “If you think Phaic Tan’s heat and humidity are hard to take now, spare a thought for those who lived here back before the arrival of electric cooling. In those days, rooms were kept ventilated by a young servant boy (mataak) who customarily sat outside. With the coming of electricity in the 1920s this system was modified; the young servant boy still sat outside pulling the fan but he had a wire cable attached to one toe and was given a jolt if he slowed down.”
And this gem about the wildlife you can see in Phaic Tan: Long thought to be extinct, small herds of the Klow Gyar Ox have recently been discovered in eastern Phaic Tan. Excited local naturalists describe them as looking a little like a Brahman bull and tasting a little like pork.”
Genius. Quite possibly the best “plane trip” reading ever.
SOME THINGS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED.
Apparently, it’s now illegal to get an abortion in South Dakota.
The Patriot Act was renewed.
We’re going to have our troops out of Iraq within a year. Or maybe not. Sorta.
Iran’s enriching plutonium.
And we’re creating an exception to the non-proliferation treaty so that India can have the bomb.
Pass the freedom fries, folks. I don’t think obesity’s our biggest problem anymore.
WEDNESDAY’S SEATTLE WEATHER...
I have a lot of friends outside Seattle who always ask, “How the hell can you live where there’s so much rain?”
I always say, “it very rarely rains very hard.”
But, you know, there are days...
March 09, 2006
I SEE IT AS A DICAPRIO/DUNST VEHICLE.
In case you missed it, a Southern Illinois cheerleader fell right on her freakin' head during a routine the other night - then, while being wheeled off, continued to cheer to show her friends she was ok (and I guess also to show a whole lot of school spirit.)
It's a sports story, so ESPN (as usual) has the best take. read it here: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=2356442.
In the meantime, if someone from Disney is reading this blog - I'd like to propose a feel-good, mash-up story where the autistic kid who scored 20 in NYC gets recruited by Southern Illinois, is in the locker room for his halftime motivational speech, hears about the accident and provides life- and spirit-saving support to the girl - some sort of car chase ensues (hopefully, with a talking car,) - and then the two of them get married, adopt kids who in past lives have been Dalmations, and from there I think the rest of the script writes itself.
One script note - the only plot point I will not negotiate from is that during the climatic basketball game scene - Southern Illinois MUST lose to the Creighton Bluejays by 23 points.
This post goes out to my good friend, Cathy Potter, a Southern Illinois grad. Go Salukis - damn it.
March 07, 2006
HEY LOOK! IT'S THE "LONG PEN!"
Apparently, it's something Margaret Atwood is getting behind - this allows her to "sign" books for people without going physically to bookstores. She "signs" from a remote location, and this robotic pen signs peoples' books!
What a great idea! Hey wait - here's a better idea - it's called an "isolation tank." Margaret can stay at home, remove herself from ALL human contact, and read her books to herself.
Goodnight, Margaret - been nice having you out here in the real world while it lasted. See ya.
HOW'S YOUR BRAND DOING?
You might want to check in over at the consumerist.
They're running a "worst company in America contest."
http://www.consumerist.com/
THE LATEST SIGN THAT MEDIA IS CHANGING.
We spend a lot of time trying to quantify how much the media world is changing.
Jon Stewart of the Daily Show hosted the Oscars last night.
Let me put that another way...
The host of a Comedy Central program hosted the friggin' OSCARS last night.
Yep, I'd say media is changing.
March 06, 2006
CONTACT ME.
Some people have complained that my contact info. is too hard to find.
This should remedy that.
dave@questionthedogma.com.
let me know what you think.
WHAT I'M READING RIGHT NOW.
Welcome to the first of what I hope will be a recurring kind of entry, "What I'm Reading Now." My goal? To review a book that I'm not finished with yet, but am excited enough about to give you a recco already.
My wife and I went up to Orcas Island for the weekend. One of the residents there - Norm Stamper, former police chief of Seattle, participated in an acting group with my wife.
I picked up Norm's book - and am ready (already) to recommend it to my loyal readers. Even though I'm only about 3/4 of the way through it.
Why?
1. Business people always need inspiration from new sources - and Norm's book is filled with insights about organizational behavior, the role of language in training, and controversial thought that it will really get you thinking.
2. The book itself is an inspiring effort - part biography, part thesis about where this country is headed, part exposition on daily police work - and makes a great read and an experiment in a new way to tell a story.
3. The book and the man writing it are BRAVE - I won't spoil any of it - but suffice it to say, he lays it all out there. Not just about organizational behavior and politics and policing, but about his own life - his mistakes, and his human faults.
4. After spending time with Norm this weekend - I officially proclaim him a very nice man - and a guy I'm happy to use a public forum to promote.
Go get the book - and email me (dave@questionthedogma.com) - to let me know what you think.
BEST MEAL IN THE SEATTLE AREA...
My wife and I had dinner Thursday night at the Herbfarm.
For those of you not from Seattle, the Herbfarm hosts an eight-course meal featuring seasonal herbs grown right on the restaurant's grounds. It's expensive, but oh - so worth it.
The menu Thursday night was their "Kobe beef" offering - eight courses, four hours, every penny worth it.
They also turned me on to a great new website, slowfood.com - check it out.
Here's to us all slowing down a little - and enjoying every moment that we're given.
March 02, 2006
HUMMER HAS A NEW MARKETING DIRECTOR.
Apparently, her name is Megan Stooke.
Good luck with that. Can't wait to see how that all turns out.
In the meantime, check out one of my favorite sites, FUH2.com.
TERRORISM IS THE NEW SCOLIOSIS.
What is it about our culture that requires us to be scared of something every minute?
Just a question.
I HUMBLY SUBMIT...
"The Onion" for marketer of the year.
Yeah, we all know how funny they are - and how they've turned a humble newspaper into an online and publishing force to be reckoned with.
But today, I received this request - asking me to sign up for their daily email blast.
When a brand does something like this so well, and so "on brand," you just have to admire.
Nice job, fellas.
A DOSE OF META-WIKI...
I'm such a fan of Wikipedia...it represents the best of customer contribution, open source creation, and new innovation married with ease-of-use.
Bravo.
HMMM....
March 01, 2006
OH MY GOD - THEY'RE ATTEMPTING TO BREED.
Yep, Sean Hannity + Match.com = Hannidate. This is not a joke.
Insert your own "demon spawn" joke here.
My favorite part? From the description, "Whether you are looking for a life partner, or just someone to hang out with, here you'll be able to find exactly who you are looking for, locally or around the world. "
"LIFE PARTNER?"
NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG...
I love Apple. Hell, we all do.
But by the time I've shelled out upwards of $300 for an iPod, then another $399 for this product Apple introduced today...uh, let's just say this better sound really good considering I've now invested almost $700 for a really fancy alarm clock, or bookshelf stereo.
And, uh...the design...
YOU DON'T CONTROL YOUR BRAND ANYMORE.
Don't believe me? Check out the latest member of MySpace.
The job of someone in Arkansas just got that much harder.
Check out the description:
"Destroying communities, environments and jobs. I love not providing health benefits my employees can afford... who WOULDN'T love that though, right? I'll be right back, I need to go count a few billion dollars (it may take a little while)."
Welcome to the new world, my marketing comrades.
I'M TOO EMOTIONAL...
I'll admit that.
But, if a story about an autistic kid scoring 20 points in a basketball game doesn't bring a tear to your eye...
See it here:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-818944862742874918&q=autistic
What a great metaphor. I'm just not sure for what.
THERE ARE THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO LIVE IN THE MATRIX.
Here's an amazing blog: http://www.vedrashko.com/advertising/blog.html
In it, the author describes how people are living their lives in videogames.
Yep, real people - acting as virtual avatars - are living other lives within simulation games.
Exchanging REAL money on eBay for new clothing and weapons for their virtual selves. Paying money in the real world, to enhance their ability to live in the virtual one. "Going to" concerts (see the U2 entry) - and attending seminars given in this virtual world.
As for me, I'll be on my real balcony looking at a real sunset.
But, I guess - to each his own.